Talking to young girls about Puberty

When our kids are young, we all try to make them aware by talking to them about Appropriate & Inappropriate touch (Click the link to read about when & how to talk to your kids about touch) to make sure that we keep our kids as safe & informed as possible for us. But when they start growing older, questions get complicated & discussions become difficult. Especially here in India, we prefer not to talk to our kids about topics like Sex, Puberty, Menstruation. But Why???

Especially parents of young girls face the all-important question, “When do I talk to my daughter about puberty?” Luckily, it’s not necessary for parents to give a full anatomy class. When girls are as young as 8, just hearing the terminology is a good way to start. They may get the giggles, but these early discussions will help them become comfortable with talking openly with their parents on the subject.

While it’s great to talk to our daughters, the discussion about puberty should be more than just one chat or lecture. The best way to prepare your daughter for the big changes she’s about to go through is to have a series of frank discussions. These can begin quite young and don’t have to be detailed in the beginning. Just opening up the channels of communication and laying a good foundation of trust is the best way to start. This way your daughter will feel comfortable and secure talking to you.  So what topics to discuss with them?  Start with the basic difference between a man’s and a women’s body, why kids have such clear skin while a lot of grown-ups have acne and pimples on their skin, how grown women have s different upper body structures as compared to young girls.

The goal is make your daughter comfortable with the idea and help her embrace the change and not fear it. Emphasize that going through the stages of puberty is a natural process that every young girl will experience. Each year as girls mature and get closer to their own time to change, they will have more questions and need more details. By planting the seeds of education early, you can help prepare your daughter to be prepared for a more in-depth conversation when she reaches the age of becoming an adolescent.

Tell her what exactly is Puberty? Puberty is the term for when a girl’s body starts to change into that of a young woman. It’s a process that takes place over several years.

It’s recommended you discuss the subject with your daughter before she starts to go through many physical changes so when she does, she’s more comfortable with what’s happening to her body. This openness can help decrease any potential anxiety she might otherwise experience.

The average age a young girl starts menstruating is around 12 years of age. Girls can start as young as 8 and some as late as 17. Whenever your daughter starts the process, it’s important to be prepared to discuss the following topics. Soon you’ll need to talk to her about wearing a bra and getting rid of her unwanted body hair. You’ll also need to tell her how to be prepared in case she gets her periods. You’ll have to introduce her to a deodorant spray. You’ll have to make her confident about using face care products such as acne control face washes etc. as she will also experience changes in her sweat glands and hormones.

Prepare a pack of sanitary products like pads, liners, intimate wash, wipes etc. that she can carry in her school bag, in case she gets her period while out and about. This is a good chance to talk about what different products can be used and when. It will also make her feel more confident about what is happening to her.

During puberty, a young girl’s self-esteem can take a battering. Her changing body can make her feel self-conscious and embarrassed. You can help her by complimenting her looks and making her feel good about herself. A girl who feels confident will be able to handle the big changes with greater ease.

REMEMBER – this is not a one-time conversation or a lecture. It is an ongoing conversation.

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16 Responses

  1. A very informative article Shalu , glad you shared it

  2. alpanadeo says:

    A very important topic to discuss. Unfortunately, as you said it’s not openly discussed and the result they tend to get information from their friends and other sources. It is always good to talk to them as a friend and make them feel comfortable.

    Very well written article Shalu.

  3. A very useful blog piece.

  4. Ruchie says:

    You have written this beautifully and so nicely that yes puberty is not something we can’t discuss n I feel your article given me alarm to yes I too have to tell my daughter now !!

  5. Quite informative n useful article shalu..
    I think u r right, kids should know before hand what’s gonna come and exactly right info should be provided

  6. Anchal says:

    Very informative. It will be useful to a lot of mommies

  7. I am going t bookmark when i will be discussing with my girl.

  8. This is such an informative post.. Thanks for sharing.

  9. You have written it so well. Many moms struggle to discuss and explain this to young girls.

  10. Richa says:

    Wow very well written and explained, i had a cousin who didnt know about it till she got it and she was suprised and in shock for few days because she thought its something very wierd and difficult to handle

  11. Fabulous Mom Life says:

    Very well said. I am all for frank and open communication about puberty and related issues.

  12. Youve explained it so well…. planting seeds of communication at a young age is really important. My daughter is 7 and she hears so much already from her friends and she will come to me to help clarify. its important for them to know that they can ask us anything and they will get required answers

  13. Monika says:

    I needed this post u know …my daughter is about 11 yr old and i was thinking bout how to have this communication with her ….thanx

  14. So very well explained, Shalu. Mishti initiated the discussion about periods when she was 7 or 8 and now she is 11, we have had a continuing dialogue regarding the same. Now she knows more, girls in her school have discussed it amongst themselves too, they help each other and are compassionate towards each other while they are menstruating . So she shares this with me and accordingly I use the info to guide her and share relevant information with her. This has helped her to be better prepared before she starts menstruating.

  1. July 17, 2017

    […] talk to your young daughter or any other young child know about Puberty read my article on – Talking to Young Girls About Puberty (click for direct […]

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