Alternative Sexuality – A Parent’s Perspective
Few days back I was watching NEWS when I heard a hate speech by a very influential political figure against the LGBT community. Of-course, its not new to us, right? We keep on hearing some or the other person, whether it be a politician or a self proclaimed god-men, someone from the right wing or a local gang, sometimes even the yoga gurus & the makers & gatekeepers of law talking trash about the LGBT community or ill-treating them all the time for having a preference in sexuality. I feel a kind of rage whenever I hear such stories. I mean why can’t someone chose what they want to be and whom they want to love. I started to read about the topic & was so sad to see people taking their kids to mental institutions to treat their queer-ism, making them do Yoga to change their sexual orientations, beating the shit out of their boys & make sure they ‘BEHAVE’ like boys.
It made me think. As a women and as a citizen I have my independent views & a stand towards LGBT rights. I completely believe that everyone should be allowed to love, be & express the way they wish. Personal choice is not a luxury but a basic human right everyone should be entitled to. But would my views be the same as a parent as well?
If tomorrow one of my daughter comes & tells me, “Mumma, I am not attracted towards boys. I find girls more attractive.” or if one of them tell me, “Maa, I feel suffocated inside the body of a girl. I think I am a boy’s soul trapped into the body of a girl.” How would I react then?
I am sure I would love them no matter what. I am not even going to think of the word “Accept them” here, because I have no right to accept or reject another human being. But would I be taken aback even for one micro second if this happens? Would I feel worried for them and their social acceptance? Will I celebrate the fact that they came out of closet or would I ask them to keep it low tone? Would I be comfortable meeting their partner knowing they might never have a legal acceptance given to their relationship?
I don’t know the answer to any of these questions. All I know is I do have friends around who belong to LGBT community, friends who I love dearly but have seen struggling with even the basic human rights. Do they really deserve this hatred & being looked down upon? Don’t we all deserve to love & to be loved? Then how does it matter who we love?
So, my dear daughters, no matter how you choose to live life & who you chose to love, I will stand by you & support you… against all odds.
Suggested Reading – Talking to young girls about puberty
Well said Shalu. Being open minded is one thing and accepting same in own kids is something else.
Every individual has rights to live and feel proud about his identity.. We should be ready for such situations. We love our kids so we should accept their life choices.
This certainly makes me think! It’s easy to say that we are open minded but when it comes to our own kids/family how easily we accept is the real test.
Loved the line ..no one has the right to accept or reject another human being…this thought can actually erase a lot of social issues ..
When I read such stuff I believe I am an open minded person
But I still don’t know how I ll react if in the situation
While reading on such topics or any other topic which is not openly accepted by the society, my mind set is different and more open but you are right when someone dear to us in the picture, the whole perspective changes.
Every induvidual has the right to live the way they want to. Society will anyway talk. Even if you do something right. Kudos to ur progressive thinking
I am so happy to read this and so glad you have posted it! It starts with us as parents… We are trying to make Karma understand it (indirectly) from now itself. When people joke – if Karma has a boyfriend when she grows up…- we always add boyfriend or girlfriend, we don’t know yet and it could be either. I want her to be comfortable enough to just come and tell us if she likes girls. And not be a bully or make fun of someone who’s gay in case she is straight. The world is changing and we know more than we did before. Its about time everyone realises that love is love!
Certain things you cannot deny! They are real and they exist. As an individual we have to respect the choices others make.
I love your topic choices Shalu. A very interesting one. I did not much thought over it as i still do not know what would be my reaction. Yes but i do claim that i am open minded.
Shalu, I wonder the same thing often… When people talk about bahus (and they do a lot) something in my mind rings and asks- what if? I just tell myself that maybe somewhere I am ok with it and I don’t think I would shocked or shattered. Having known some LGBT people I don’t think there’s a reason for them to be treated any different.
“Accept them” profound words. As parents, we must learn this and teach this to our kids.
I love ur perspective… I wish our generation of intelligent ppl makes this change that is much required