A new side of me – The effect of being a hands-on dad
For a long long time now, Mom Bloggers have been taking over Instagram with their informative content, emotions & experience sharing and their cute & real-life pictures.
But lately, there have been few dads & grandparents who took up the task of not just being a hands-on parent / grandparent, but also charming the Instagram world by sharing their life & experiences.
One such daddy, Tejas Buch, or better known as dadmansuperdad on Instagram is becoming a blue-eyed boy in Parenting Community. Let’s hear from him about how parenting has changed him!
Hi! I am Tejas. I’m from a middle-class Gujju family, quite open-minded and forward thinking (Rare right?) Had a love marriage to one of my girlfriends (She’s a Tam Bram) whom I dated for the shortest duration. We have a post-marriage courtship of 5 years in which we were both settling and progressing in our careers. We were convinced we did not want to have kids because we were not ready to give up our fun, fancy, footloose and free lifestyle. We bought a house, we bought a car, we traveled extensively and did it all.
Most wives/ ladies think that a man’s life does not change after he gets married and has a baby – which in a way is true because of the heavily popular and created stereotype that – Kitchen, Home and Baby duties are all means for a woman.
But times are changing slowly in this internet age, more and more husbands/men are being more hands-on with all of the above duties, due to which obviously there are changes which happen in their lifestyle also.
One such person is me. I hate any stereotypes and I have a rebellious attitude towards them till date. If I find something unconvincing I question it. And if the answer is illogical or based on society and past practices or cultures I disregard it entirely.
Our family was getting jealous of us having so much fun and was continued after us to “Have a baby”. My wife conveniently would pass the pressure onto me by telling our relatives “Tell him – He’s got to do what he’s got to do for us to have a baby” and then only I know how I’ve dodged them for a few years
Then one day we sat and discussed, and just thought “If we had a kid, what kind of combination would he/she be?” So, then we decided to try. Fortunately, we didn’t have to tray much and she got preggers almost immediately and Voila – Life changed and how.
- Financial planning – Although this was a planned baby, the wife had 2 hospitalizations apart from the delivery. We were going to have one baby and had decided to go all ou Medical facilities, the best in the country were factored for but you must save up for exigencies not only during the pregnancy but for a lifetime. Fortunately, we had made provisions and supported by the medical insurance policies we could manage.
- Family Inclination – After becoming a parent, you actually realize what your parents went through while raising you. Opportunities were lesser, information and exposure were limited and yet they gave you the be You start to love and respect your own parents and family much more than before and spend maximum time with them. The new Grandparents may also be an active and very very crucial support system.
- Eat Healthy, Drink responsibly & Stay Healthy – Once the baby starts doing his/her antics, you smile and consciously make an effort to stay in good health just to ensure that you can match up with energy levels and want to be around your baby in a healthy manner for as long as possible. This also means lesser drunken nights to avoid bad hangovers and the next day wasted being a potato.
- Work-life Balance – For working parents, this is the biggest challenge. Life goes by while we keep stressing on work/business and making money. You have to draw the line somewhere. Be around your kid to enjoy their childhood. They grow fast and their innocence vanishes faster than we can thin This time is priceless and irreplaceable.
- Lesser Risks – Every time we take a road trip we think before speeding above 80km/h On every motorcycle ride I think before overtaking vehicles. Just think about that smile on your kid’s face when they see you. Just imagine what’ll happen to that smile if something happens to you. This makes parents take lesser risks automatically.
The Bottomline is, have a balanced life. You don’t have to stop living your life, but yes definitely have to make changes to it. And if you are hands-on to assist your wife on the home and baby front, you will never have to ASK PERMISSION for those Bachelor party trips and Boys night outs.